Going Deeper Than 'Mental Health Awareness Week'

As some of you may know already, this week is Mental Health Awareness Week. Something that has shattered my heart and ripped apart every aspect of my world as I knew it. It's been 13 very long weeks since my dad chose to take his own life. And it still tears me apart to write/say that, because it still doesn't feel real. I still expect my dad to walk through the door, I still yearn to walk around the corner to see him there ready to jump out on me, I still listen out for the sounds of his voice singing in the shower or whilst he's cooking tea. But all to no avail, for that's when it hits me all over again - he's gone and I'll never get these pure, sacred moments of happiness back.

When I think of the deeper meaning behind this week, I think about the shame and the stigma that is still associated with mental illness and the overall heaviness that the discussion brings in general. My heart goes out to the lost souls who are struggling right now and are contemplating taking their own life as I write this, it is no secret that someone takes their own life every 40 seconds worldwide (predicted to increase to one every 20 seconds by the end of 2020).

I wish I could take it upon myself to help all of the lost souls around the world to heal and break free from the chains, torment and safety their mental illness gives them, but for a 21-year-old girl fighting her own demons, it's too big a fight. But I can continue to try. I will continue to write my hearts voice down on paper and share it with the world, if it resonates with you - great, take it in and receive it, if not, cool - scroll on past, but send your thoughts to those who do need to hear what I write.

If you are reading this right now and you are in a dark place or are struggling to see your worth in this world, I want you to know this: You are loved. You are worthy. You are valued in this world and your presence here is not just important, but needed.

Suicide is not a sign of weakness. It is a symptom of an illness. And it's time to prevent the symptom by speaking up, reaching out, and bringing down the stigma that surrounds mental illness and suicide. I'm sharing this because right now, I need hope that coming together as a collective can save lives.

It is important to remember that wellness is not synonymous with strength, and illness is not synonymous with weakness.

And even more important to recognise that each person has their own personal limitations and capacities which have nothing to do with weaknesses. Sadly, sometimes some of us are pushed past our own capacities to the point that we may fracture, and my dear father was one of these. The strongest man I knew, but who just couldn't see that his inner-strength was enough to carry him through the storms of life.

I'm devoted to continuing my Dad's legacy, rising up amidst the darkness and despair. I'm reaching out and I ask you to do the same - there are people (me included) who are ready to listen to your feelings and offer you an anchor of support. No problem or worry is too little or too great. Your feelings matter. Your emotions are precious. Your trauma is not there to define you or your worth.

So far, I have raised an incredible £6,785 for the mental health charity Mind, in memory of my Dad’s passing. I would be eternally grateful if you could take two minutes to share this post and help me keep my dad's legacy alive and reach people who need to know that suicide is not the solution.

P.S. Sharing this makes me feel incredibly vulnerable and raw, but in being authentic, I hope to reach more people who need this. I have held many visions of writing books and poetry, but never did I ever think I would be sat here writing these words today. But if it can contribute even in the slightest way to breaking the stigma of mental illness and suicide so wrongly face and help stop another precious little girl out there from losing her father then it's worth it.

If you feel called to donate, the link to my JustGiving page is: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/andrew-moore-firefighter.

Love to each of you who sits and reads all of this with presence. I honour you.

Blessings

Grace x